Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough.

Posts tagged ‘Deployment’

Stay Busy and Find Something to Look Forward To

Well, Buddy is on his way to Altus.  I still think it’s silly that C-17s are the only airframe that doesn’t do the upgrade process in-house.  Maybe that’s because my husband is going during the ONLY time of year up here that we can actually enjoy living here!  Oh well.  I wouldn’t care so much except that our poor dog is refusing to get off of Buddy’s side of the bed.  He knows Dad is gone and is totally depressed about it.  Won’t eat, won’t play, nothing.  It breaks my heart!

The best way I’ve found to deal with the whole husband-being-gone thing is to a) keep busy (yeah, every military wife will tell you that one) and b) find something to look forward to, something to count down to that ISN’T your husband coming home.  Obviously you’re going to be excited about him being back (or, at least, I would hope so… if not, then you’re probably not upset and don’t need to keep busy in the first place).  If you can find something non-husband-related, or at least minimally husband-related, you’ll find a reason to get up in the morning that is not contingent upon the military, and that’s important.  That way, no matter what the military or Murphy are doing to you at the time, you have something that isn’t affected by either one.  For example, I have my job.  I’m looking forward to getting my kiddos back to their mom.  I also have my trip to Texas.  I’m flying down on June 21st, regardless of whether Buddy has graduated from AC school or not.  I get to see my sisters, my parents, my best friends.  It’ll be amazing!

A quick note about the keeping busy advice… Yes, it’s important to stay busy and keep your mind occupied.  However, don’t over-do it!  Make sure you’re taking time to be sad, time to yourself, and time to relax.  Going, going, going for months on end is just going to exhaust you and make it harder to deal with everything that’s going to be thrown at you during a TDY/deployment/whatever.  Find a balance.  It’s okay to let yourself be sad or lonely.  It’s healthy to miss your other half.

That was probably the hardest thing for me to learn.  I thought I had to be totally strong and act like everything was totally normal.  Everything is NOT totally normal when your husband is gone.  It didn’t help that my mom acts like she understands and is anything but sympathetic when I say I’m dreading months away from Buddy.  If this is the case in your life, just don’t talk about it with that person.  Talk about it with people who will help you handle it and make you feel better and more normal, not less.

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